Dear readers,
Happy September! This is one of my favorite months, and I have often begun new writing projects on September 1st…. Well, a few weeks ago, I thought this was going to be an entirely different endeavor, but quite suddenly the ideas for this publication ‘downloaded’ and as I jotted them down on paper, a crow began cawing outside my window! So, here we are!
The introductory letter I wrote for my About page clearly conveys the mission for this newsletter, so I am copying it here for this welcome post:
September 1st, 2023
Dear readers,
Greetings from my bird’s nest overlooking my Mom’s small, urban forest — a.k.a. my upstairs, boomeranger bedroom above the green backyard — where I am not necessarily living my “best life” but I am seriously trying to make the best of the life I’m in.
When I first moved back home (at age 48), my Dad was still with us, and he would ask, “How’s it going up there in the bird’s nest?” Sadly, at only 77, he died suddenly on January 25th, 2020 (after heart surgery), leaving my Mom and me here to quarantine together during the pandemic. Unlike most people, I loved staying home all the time. The home routine was very calming for my system.
My chronic mental and physical illnesses include: Anxiety Disorder, Atypical Fibromyalgia, Somatoform Pain Disorder, Misophonia, and Atypical Germophobia. Additionally, I am an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), which causes much distress and sometimes depression. (I will be 54 on January 29th, 2024, and I have been dealing with ongoing, ever-changing symptoms and conditions since age 19.)
I work with negative thinking on the regular, of the “I wish I would die soon of natural causes” variety, which psychology terms “Passive Suicidal Ideation”. The struggle is real, and yet, through all the hardships I continue to successfully cultivate many small happinesses each day.
I love birds, especially crows, and when I hear crows cawing, it sends such a thrill through my being. Somehow I feel that I can relate to their caws, whether they be of distress that a hawk is fast approaching, or of elation that a hawk is being successfully chased away. “Caw, caw, caw, caw!” Yes, dear crows, I feel what you mean!
My intention with writing this publication “Crow Caw-ings” is to be helpful to others through sharing my trials and triumphs with chronic mental and physical illnesses, as I ever endeavor to *accept reality as it is*, with resilience, humility, and grace.
If you also live with chronic illnesses (mental and/or physical), I hope that these caw-ings will give you some things which you might need, such as encouragement, comfort, affirmation, and/or inspiration.
If you are blessed to *not* live with chronic illnesses, perhaps these caw-ings will give you perspective on how good you have it, or will help you to better understand other people who *do* live with chronic illnesses.
My background includes lots of education and trainings which I could never get to come together in a solid “career” due to the health issues. I have trained and/or worked in some capacity in the following: international student advisor, nanny, at-home mama (my awesome sons are now 23 and 26), lactation counselor, childbirth educator, childbirth doula, postpartum doula, caregiver, energy healer, meditation instructor, healing circles facilitator, prison group facilitator, medical assistant, hypnotherapist, hospice volunteer, and writer of various blogs and books. (I also earned a B.A. degree in Political Science and Spanish, Butler University, 1992.)
My goal on Substack will be to post weekly, typically on Sundays. This will be a free newsletter, although at some point I may begin accepting voluntary subscription fees.
My longtime dream has been to help others in some way(s), but due to the illnesses I haven't been able to help much. Now I got the idea that writings about my life with chronic illnesses could be helpful to others. We’ll see how this unfolds….
I hope you will join me for this caw-ing journey!
Caw, Caw, Caw, Caw!
With much love,
Teja Ray
Thanks for reading Crow Caw-ings! ✨🐦⬛✨
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Those lists of woes and abilities shows your resiliency.
Looking forward to more cawing.